Valentine's Day

So the "Hallmark Holiday" is upon us. The holiday that bridges the gap in the coffers of the greeting card companies that is felt between Christmas and Easter. But in today's politically correct society, I boycott this holiday on principle. That's right. From here on I proclaim February 14th to be....February 14th!

Let's face it. This "Valentine's Day" dates back to 270 AD and marks the day some guy was martyred. He had his head cut off and was beaten to death (not necessarily in that order). Do we really want to remember this? This beheaded and beaten guy was caught marrying Roman soldiers to their girls, which had been outlawed. Apparently, the emperor figured he would have a bigger army if young men had no women to live for. I guess that's why this whole Sweetheart/Love angle was put on it.

I worry about the use of the word "holiday". If it really is a holiday (as in holy day) then why isn't it a day off? Something fishy there. And if it is a "holiday" why isn't there a special church service?

Women love this holiday. Its another day they can suck their men into getting them a gift and to force them to say that four-letter word they seem to enjoy hearing. No not the dirty words...the "L" word. Sounds like zero in tennis. But what do men get in return? Chances are they don't even get the lovely lady to hum a song far less hum anything else.

What about all the poor saps out there that aren't in love? Not even in lust or like with anyone. Where is their holiday? What about widows and widowers? Has anyone asked them what they are going to do? Where is their holiday?

Are these people less of a part of society because of this? Shouldn't society be inclusive instead of exclusive? This holiday separates us into neat little groups, doesn't it? Hey, maybe I have stumbled onto some elitist plot to segregate the masses.

Perhaps the worse case are the poor fools that buy into the whole sweetheart/love thing, but don't stand a chance with the object of their passion. They go out, buy all kinds of merchandise as a demonstration of their desire for someone and POW!...they find out the person they want most to be with views them as a pathetic geek who should feel blessed that they are allowed to breathe the same air as everyone else. Now the poor sap has to deal with the snickers and finger-pointers of the world. Next thing you know we have another disgruntled postal worker on our hands.

So, join me friends. Do not refer to February 14th as Valentine's Day any longer. Resist! Resistance is not futile! There are no Borg here. If you really need a name for February 14th, call it "Middle of February Day". Think about that!

I'll be back as soon as I pick up some candy, flowers, and a nice Hallmark Card for my Sweetie.